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Philip Be'er

About and Contact

Ten years ago, I took part in a personal-growth retreat that opened a door to massive improvements in the quality of my life. In that one week I experienced more growth and healing than I’d experienced in the twenty years preceding. I'd grown up in what felt, to me, like a ‘domestic warzone' and over the years, had invested thousands of dollars and countless hours in individual and couple’s therapy.

Apart from my relief at making so much personal progress at the retreat, I was exhilarated to discover that I could access tools and techniques that were powerful enough to initiate radical personal transformation on a timescale measured in years, rather than decades!

Needless to say, I devoted the years following that retreat to mastering these tools and techniques while applying them to my own inner-evolution. Whenever an opportunity to improve or to refine these tools and techniques presented itself, I stepped up to the challenge, eventually:

I work a lot with individuals and families who want to heal their relationships or to recover from the impacts of anxiety, depression, addiction and dysfunction.

Many of my clients have been recovering from abuse and other childhood traumas; from PTSD; domestic violence; and thoughts of suicide.

Anyone, whose pathways to happiness and peace are being obstructed by unrelenting compulsions, by uncontrollable behaviours, or by unhealthy habits and addictions have the potential to benefit from this work.

In the majority of cases, 'The Learning to Love Curriculum' has been delivering more impressive outcomes than most treatments that rely on drugs and medication.

The Learning to Love curriculum is taught by highly trained facilitators who are adept at recognizing and counteracting the unconscious role played by their own ‘*Shadow’.

The degree to which Learning to Love practitioners have integrated ‘Shadow’ elements, differentiates us from many other healing professionals and practitioners, who tend to be more inclined to respond reactively when they're confronted with aspects of their own shadow that being mirrored by their clients. (*Your shadow is visible in the Blue section of your Personal Compassion Map [Below].)

A counselor who has not fully integrated their own neediness, cruelty, or laziness, for example, becomes reactive (though they may not show it outwardly) when confronted with a client's neediness, cruelty, or laziness. Their ability to remain present to the client's needs diminish while they are in a reactive mode, so when you're selecting someone to accompany you on your healing journey, choosing someone who has substantially Integrated their Shadow is absolutely imperative.

Personal Compassion Map

I strongly encourage anyone who finds herself/himself a point in life where transformative change can no longer be deferred, to invest heavily in freedom, self-acceptance and happiness by fully embracing the Learning to Love Curriculum revolution, today.

If you are supporting someone (in a personal or professional capacity) who is struggling, then the tools that I've created and the approach that I've developed could help you to provide even more loving and caring support.


LOW POINT   Although I was doing everything conceivable to be kind and loving, I was constantly being punished for being what my parents considered, a bad or a naughty kid

HIGH POINT   Discovering that the punishment I received had nothing to do with me (who I was, or how I was behaving). My parents were attacking rejected aspects of their own personalities (Shadow) that were being mirrored by me. Every parent does this and every child suffers some degree of harm as a result.

LOW POINT   Feeling desperately isolated and alone at various points in my life

HIGH POINT  Acknowledging the role that I have played in keeping people at an emotionally-safe distance so that they couldn’t hurt me. Dissolving all the shame I have been carrying so that I could no longer be hurt by any other person. Allowing connection and love to flow, and tapping into an abundance of love

LOW POINT   Coming really, really close to giving up on the fight for shared custody of my daughter because the protracted court battle was causing her so much harm

HIGH POINT  Being assigned a wise and experienced judge who immediately identified a harmful pattern of deception and control. In contrast to the judges who had been assigned previously (they had little experience with Family Law), Justice M. settled a two year court case in minutes. I continued to play an important role in my daughter's life, and she was given the opportunity to receive love and support from both of her parents.

LOW POINT   Spending twenty years in couples’ counseling, yet feeling powerless to prevent one romantic relationship after another from disintegrating, in spite of my total commitment to the creation of a healthy relationship

HIGH POINT  Learning that although the psychologists, counselors, coaches and teachers I was working with exuded confidence, they could only lead me as far down a healing path as they themselves had traveled. Most had at least as much healing left to do as I had. Attending a retreat where the teachers were totally committed to their own healing journey and where the approach was so effective that I made as much progress in a single week as I’d made in the two preceding decades. (I went on to become one of these teachers)

LOW POINT   Struggling to sleep through the night or to get myself out of bed during those times when I was feeling the most depressed and isolated

HIGH POINT  Learning how to change the way that I’m feeling by re-patterning my thoughts and beliefs. Connecting to myself so deeply that I no longer depend on someone outside of me for feelings of acceptance, connection and love-worthiness. Bidding farewell to protracted loneliness and depression.

LOW POINT   Acknowledging my addiction to 'romantic' partnership (co-dependence addiction) and my uncontrollable use of sugary treats for emotional soothing

HIGH POINT  Liberating myself of my addictions and helping many of my clients gain freedom from their own addictions, compulsive behavioural patterns, and most significantly, their compulsive need to manage and to control.

LOW POINT   Recognising the anxiety in my own voice

HIGH POINT  Healing that anxiety and replacing it with self-acceptance and love.

LOW POINT   Feeling unworthy of payment from my clients

HIGH POINT  Healing my relationship with money and becoming comfortable with the value of my work.

LOW POINT   Living with the fear that I would never get to experience unconditional loving from a romantic partner

HIGH POINT  Meeting a woman of my dreams and experiencing 'Conscious' relationship with her

LOW POINT   Receiving the news that she had stage-4 cancer just as I was making plans to relocate so that we could reside closer to one another

HIGH POINT  Relocating anyway. Staying 'in the Present' while simultaneously doing everything conceivable to prolong her life, AND remaining relatively unattached to the outcome. Savoring each and every beautiful moment together and rapidly releasing my emotional attachment to the less beautiful moments.


I took this course. The insight looking at my darkness/shadow side and transforming how I view my "perceived" flaws was amazing. Taking a look at my insecurities as a parent and human in interpersonal relationships was transformed from guilt and isolation to strength and validation and........ Community...... I no longer question if I'm good enough. I know I am.  M. British Columbia 

I know that not everyone’s ways of doing things work for everyone else...and that makes perfect sense to me. But when I find someone who does a thing that REALLY works for me, it’s still hard to imagine it wouldn’t be JUST THE THING from which everyone else would super benefit.     ... And I’m getting help, this past month, that exceeds, in terms of effectiveness for me, anything I’ve yet encountered. I call it shadow work. I think more of the world’s shadows could be effectively integrated/illuminated with Philip’s help.  N. Calgary

I just got off the phone with the extraordinary Philip Be'er, with whom I’ve been having powerful sessions in what I think is best described as Shadow Work. He’s identified an amazing and effective process and it WORKS SO BEAUTIFULLY!!

If YOU think you might be ripe for this kind of help, I highly recommend you consider getting in touch with him. I’ve already recommended him to many beloved people.  N. Alberta


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Philip Be'er

Ten years ago, I took part in a personal-growth retreat that opened a door to massive improvements in the quality of my life.

In that one week I experienced more growth and healing than I’d experienced in the twenty years preceding.

Read more ...


Phone: 1~~778~~235~~2990

Email: Philip[who is at]

Philip lives on Vancouver Island, on the West Coast of Canada.