While we, as parents, are responding to the distress that’s being expressed by our children, that exposure is triggering cellular memory of our own that hearkens back to how we felt when we were having a tantrum.
If the intensity of the emotions or sensations that we are feeling and experiencing, as an adult, are sufficiently intense, then we too will be triggered into a fight, flight or freeze response and our reasoning capacity will diminish.
As long as we’re in Fight|Flight|Freeze, we’re unable to connect with our child. Most adults are unaware that mutual triggering is occurring, and this invisible dynamic exacerbates the sense of disconnection that triggered the tantrum in the first place and it also contributes to a transfer of trans-generational wounding from parent to child.
Be on the lookout for reciprocal- triggering because this particular dynamic has the potential to become the primary source of stress for both parent and child.